If you Give a Boy A Cracker

. . . he's going to want more, lots more. A play on one of my favorite books as a child, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Do you remember it? How could you not like that book! But just like the cookie, these crackers will lead to more, and more, and more.

But women enjoy this crunchy snack food too. But boys (and men) have a relationship with these cheesy, buttery items that is in a completely different solar system. Ladies, you may like a handful of Goldfish or a Wheat Thin or two, but is it ever a situation of, "we're out of crackers, get to the store, stat!!" I didn't think so. Am I right or am I right?

There is no shortage of these snacky items in my grocery store- heck, they practically take up more space than the produce I covet for my snacks. The ingredient lists can be a little scary- and long. As you see below, this is a short list of pantry items you already have.

I can't grow peaches in the corner of my kitchen, but I can bake a killer cracker.

The overdose of grocery aisle options would explain why it hadn't occurred to me to make crackers myself: "Huh, you mean bake crackers from scratch? Why on earth would you do such a thing, don't those things come straight from a package?!"

Pretty much everything can be bought ready-made in a box today, but let's give these a whirl, shall we?

They are awesome, and very easy to make. The cheese combination possibilities are endless, and think how impressive they would be at a party. All the men will fawn over you, and the women will be impressed with your mad skills.

Parmesan Crackers
makes about 3 dozen crackers

1/2 cup all-purpose flour, plus more for the board
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese (sub cheddar, pepper jack, gouda- all finely grated)
4 Tbs unsalted butter
1/4 lowfat milk

Heat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

In a food processor, pulse flour, salt, cheese, and butter together. Add the milk and run the machine until a dough forms.

Lightly flour your work surface and roll out the dough until it's about 1/4 inch thick. Using a fluted pastry wheel (or a sharp knife if you don't have one), cut about 1/2 inch thick vertically, then 1/2 inch horizontally. With a small fork, score each cracker twice and place on the baking sheet. Sprinkle with a bit of salt if you want.

Bake until golden brown, about 15 minutes. Cool on a rack. Serve warm or a room temperature (they'll be crunchier at room temperature). Store in an airtight container for a few days. These are best the first and second days. They will lose their crispyness; to perk them up you can pop them in the toaster for a minute or two.

Now, if you give your guests these crackers, they're probably going to want some cheese to go with them . . . I can't help you with that, but I would recommend some sharp gouda.

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