The overdose of grocery aisle options would explain why it hadn't occurred to me to make crackers myself: "Huh, you mean bake crackers from scratch? Why on earth would you do such a thing, don't those things come straight from a package?!"
makes about 3 dozen crackers
1/2 cup all-purpose flour, plus more for the board
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese (sub cheddar, pepper jack, gouda- all finely grated)
4 Tbs unsalted butter
1/4 lowfat milk
Heat the oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a food processor, pulse flour, salt, cheese, and butter together. Add the milk and run the machine until a dough forms.
Lightly flour your work surface and roll out the dough until it's about 1/4 inch thick. Using a fluted pastry wheel (or a sharp knife if you don't have one), cut about 1/2 inch thick vertically, then 1/2 inch horizontally. With a small fork, score each cracker twice and place on the baking sheet. Sprinkle with a bit of salt if you want.
Bake until golden brown, about 15 minutes. Cool on a rack. Serve warm or a room temperature (they'll be crunchier at room temperature). Store in an airtight container for a few days. These are best the first and second days. They will lose their crispyness; to perk them up you can pop them in the toaster for a minute or two.
Now, if you give your guests these crackers, they're probably going to want some cheese to go with them . . . I can't help you with that, but I would recommend some sharp gouda.