The mental struggle and constant calculations won't go away. At least right now that is; maybe some day I can get away from that place and feel comfortable whatever weight I end up at, but for now that needs to take a back seat. I've decided that a little meat will land on my plate now and then- when it sounds good to me. Besides that I will eat larger and more frequent portions of the proteins I do love: raw and cooked fish, eggs, nuts, and quinoa. The protein component of each meal will be considered first instead of last, and it will be a priority even if I think I've passed my self-pronounced caloric limit. I'm hoping just a few weeks of this approach will accomplish the physical changes I'm hoping for, and form a healthier habit for the long run.
Being on vacation the past few days has made it much easier. I have more time to consider my options and make enticing meals that I am excited about. A little peanut butter with breakfast, some sardines for lunch, and egg whites at dinner- with a little nut-studded fruitcake for a snack. I'm monitoring the scale with an eagle eye, but would I change what I'm doing if that gives me something I don't like. I want to say no. . . I will say no, because I'll be checking myself and I know that the only one I'm hurting is myself.